We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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