Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize
