how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
