My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
