You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
