Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
is wine microwaveable?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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