I can't watch pbs sober anymore
wakey wakey hands off snakey
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She's the barista slut.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
