he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
