Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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