Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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