I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize