I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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