its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
