Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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