i think my tv is drunk
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
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