Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I haven't been this sober since birth.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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