I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
