I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
