I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
