This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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