i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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