At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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