Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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