He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
