I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
