I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
