just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I am spending my child support on dildos
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
there is glitter all over my balls
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
