shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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