i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize