How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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