I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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