omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
