Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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