This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
