I like my sex mixed with concussions.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
