ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize