I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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