He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
