She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
She is in my trunk
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
