Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
