Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
