Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize