I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
