Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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