Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
