I don't think brook has ever known best
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
