Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
