White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
