Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Randomize
