the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
