You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Randomize
