I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
