She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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