I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
