so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
