She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
These tits shall not be calmed
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
