Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
