it's too hot outside to masturbate.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
