he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
