just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
