my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize