We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize
