margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
