Who did Billy Mays play for?
smell my finger.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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